so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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