omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
my being single is dangerous.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
