i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I think I won the penis lottery.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
