his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize