is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
