Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
