After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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