I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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