Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
