with your own penis?
Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Randomize
