So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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