What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Randomize
