what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
That was an excessively violent trivia night
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
