we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
