I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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