I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
