Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
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