Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Randomize
