You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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