i just google imaged poop.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize