I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Randomize
