Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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