He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
