dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
