Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
