She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
My vagina is very pro this idea
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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