is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Randomize
