I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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