I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
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