Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
We need to get me chipped asap
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
