I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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