have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
