Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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