So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Randomize
