It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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