CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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