please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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