how can u be prego again
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Randomize
