I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Randomize
