Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
