he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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