so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
