your parents love me but you hate me
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize