Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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