I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
