we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
