Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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