I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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