shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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