so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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