ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
