No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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