So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
