when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
