I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
