Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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