I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
