walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
